Forget

I am supposed to sleep now...
Feel so lost after plan changed...
My mind is very tired...
But i just do not want to sleep...
I know my health condition...
Pimples on the face and back are the evidence to ask me to sleep early...
But i just can't help it...


Many things lead to my insomnia...
I am a thinker...
Think here and there...
Therefore i will think too much and worry myself for something does not exist...
This is not the first time i found out i did silly things and said silly words when i am unconscious...
Sometimes i do not know what i trying to express...
Especially when i am exhausted...
I just cannot think but i will utter something that surprise others and also myself...
I feel regret and self-blaming after i think back everything...
Memories are hurt...
In some manners haunting me and drag me out from my fantasy...
Reminds me to be careful in everything...
I hate regret...
But regret teaches us many lessons that we should learn during our lifetime...


Sometimes i really wish that i can forget those bad memories...
Therefore i threw away all the things that will trap me in the memories...
This action is quite extreme i know...
But this is the way i keep myself from recalling all the sad memories...
Human can't really remember the little insignificant things...
Unless we are reminded...
So please do not remind me of those things...
Just let the memories vanish themselves...


But sometimes what we choose to forget may not follow our wills...
Some wounds will not disappear and will stay permanently on our hearts...
How i wish i can forget all these wounds...
How i wish i can delete the memories that i do not want...
But the memories are not data...
I cannot delete or format...


Sometimes i wish i can remember every moment of the happy moments...
To take pictures,to write diaries...
But something will just being forgotten unawarely...
The memories just slipped away...
I want to catch everything that is perfect to me...
But i cannot...
No matter how much i catch they will just slip away...


It is contradicting...
Maybe i should just let it be...
We just cannot help to catch everything that we want...
I am learning to let go the things that i cannot give up...
The feelings...The pain...
The day when i am not care that means i already pass through the hardest period...
And i am waiting for the arrival of the day...