童话...

小时候小女生最爱的就是童话故事的美丽吧...
希望自己被当做公主一般的呵护...
希望可以遇到一个帅气的王子来救自己...
这就是小时候的一点小小的期待...


之后随着长大...
偶像剧，爱情小说更增加了我们对爱情的幻想和憧憬...
认为爱情是完美的...
认为有爱情，什么困难都可以克服...
可是当我们真正站在里面的时候才发现原来事实和幻想是相反的...
小说和偶像剧说得太美...
现实生活中到底有多少个happy ending?


我们都一直相信着童话...
白雪公主，睡美人...
王子都在她们危险的时候出现然后救了她们...
可见王子真的很忙厚？
哈哈...
可是我依旧喜欢骑士...
王子还是太贵气了一点吧？
我还是喜欢骑士的英勇...
可是这个时代谁还骑着马来救他们的公主？
有时候甚至是在困难中也未必有人出现施与帮助...

最近才追完这部韩剧...

秘密花园...

超现实的剧情...

可是是最真实的感动...

我羡慕那样真挚的感情...

我羡慕那个爸爸爱女儿的举动...

我羡慕那样坚定的承诺...

偶像剧和小说总会让我们陷在这样美丽的剧情里...

所以一直跟自己说...

美丽的故事落幕了...

我也要回到现实了...

有时候我逼自己回归现实的举动被自己解释为悲观...

但不这样...

我只会更加迷失而已...

我依旧相信童话...

但是我也要自己相信现实...

人总是让人失望...

虽然如此...

我还是相信神是那个给予希望的...

祂...

会为我写一篇美丽的童话的吧？

我...

这样等待与相信着...

随记...

一直都知道自己钻牛角尖的个性苦了自己...
以前是，现在亦是...
但我感恩我可以成为你们的垃圾桶...
在必要时给予你们一点意见和鼓励...
尽管那些话有时是在打我自己巴掌...
因为我自己也那么放不下...
因为我自己也总是那么苦待自己...


我很乐意成为一些人的垃圾桶...
但我依旧秉持着：“你不愿意告诉我，我也不勉强；但你愿意告诉我，我会洗耳恭听...”的想法...
我发现...
在这样倾听和回应的互动里...
有时候自己给予的提醒是命中红心的...
对啊...
说总是容易的...
可是真正要做是需要很多的勇气和坚持的...


人都是有懦弱的一面的...
有些人是心甘情愿被捆绑着...
有些人是逼不得已被捆绑着...
我也是如此...
只是对自己严厉了一点吧？
我不容许自己犯错...
因为我总会自责得不能自己...
我不容许自己脆弱的那一面让别人看见...
因为我不想给别人看见那个泪流满面的自己...
我不想浪费我的时间...
因为人生真的...好短...
至少要充实自己，活得精彩再离开才值得吧？


在我放弃中六这条路之后...
我才发现原来自己有那么多原则和坚持...
不想浪费时间去浑浑噩噩过日子...
有时愿意选择让自己忙碌去学习些什么...
有时会选择让自己空一点去倒空所有的情绪...
然后再给自己的生活注入一点思想和营养...
想让自己的人生有意义点...
所以每一个选择和路对我来说都是一种学习...
尽管路很难走...
尽管那不是我喜欢的...
但我相信神必定有祂更大的计划和美意...
我们的人生岂止是这么一点点？
在神的计划里，我们的生命可以被使用，只是我们愿不愿意而已...


人生很短...
时间走得很快...
很多很多事要做...
我要去旅行...
我可以独立到一个人去背包旅行吗？
我要去很多地方...
我要去吃很多好吃的东西...
我要...我要...
人生很短...
所以我要把握每个时间...
去计划去明白去了解...
人生的功课很多很多...
也很难很难...
我习惯了简单轻松的生活吧...
所以遇到困难的时候总是容易一蹶不振...
鞭策自己...
告诉自己跨过了，就会好的...
就稍微再撑一撑吧...
神会给我力量的，不是吗？
神一直都在身边，不是吗？

The Five Love Languages

I enjoy reading very much...

Especially those inspiring one...

Thanks Joel for lending me your book...

I really enjoy reading this book a lot...

Obviously...

Most of the contents of the book is talking about how to express your love to your MATE...

And i am not having a mate now...

But maybe i will in the future?

Haha...

Anyway...

After i finished reading this book...

I am on the way to confirm what is my love language...

There are 5 love languages normally people own...

1.Word of affirmation

-Those who give praises, positive comments and show their love through words

2.Quality time

-Those who like to spend time and need others' attention for a period of time

3.Gifts

-Obviously this love language is for those who like to receive gifts as a token of love

4.Acts of service

-Show their love through actions, can be a simple house chore

5.Physical touch

-For an example,hugging one when he or she is crying

I think mine are quality time and acts of service...

I like to be a listener for others...

But sometimes i need a listener for me to pour out my every feelings too...

I like to spend time with my love ones...

I enjoy spending time with them even though it just a simple meal...

I grow up in a family that showing love in the way of action...

We normally hard to speak out our love to each other...

But we will show our love through a simple action to let each other know that we love each other...

I am impressed by the cases mentioned in the book...

The one makes me feel amazing is the story of a Christian woman tried to love her husband who she began to hate...

How can we love the people we hate?

It is indeed a very hard decision and action to take...

But the author brought in the Bible verses...

But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.(Luke6:27-28)

Do to others as you would have them do to you.

If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them.(Luke6:31-32)

Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.(Luke6:38)

The Bible verses strike my heart...

And remind me what to do now...

I am trying...

Avoiding myself from burning in the flame of anger...

I need time...

How hard to learn this task that God has given to me...

I am struggling...

Pushing myself to treat everything as usual...

I really hope i can...

But i just can't despite the darknesses of the world...

Lord,please help me...

Anyway...

This is a very good reading material for me...

Learn to discover others' love languages...

Learn to speak others' love languages...

I have a new perspective of expressing love to my love ones...

Once again thanks the owner of the book...

Haha...

Finally,it ends...

Rainy day!

Flyers...

 It rained again!

 Flyers and brochures~

 Joey and me~n.n

 Finally we snapped his photo!Our supervisor!XP

 Me with a "handful" of balloons!!!

Joey with the "handful" of balloons...n.n 

 Joey and me with the bunch of balloons...n.n

 Roger was distributing balloon...

Finally...

My part time promoter job came to an end...

I just came back from Segamat, last stop of my promoter job...

Thank God that we can come back so early...

We actually have to work from 10am to 10pm...

The long working time caused me half-dead...

And the weather made me wanna die!

The sun was smiling so bright to us!

And it burned my face...

My face now is in red...

I am not shy-ing...

Just...

The sunlight kissed my face violently...

I wonder my skin has to take how long time to go back to fair skin again...T.T

I am waiting this moment since 3 days ago...

Haha...

Which is the the first day of Segamat roadshow...XP

Because the hotel is...

Uhmm...

I do not know how to describe...

All i can say is:"I love the Muar's hotel !"XP

Today is our last day in Segamat...

The boss of the shop requested our team to split to 2 teams...

And the 2 teams go to his different branches to have the roadshow...

And therefore i was separated with Joey...><

But thank God for the weather...

Not so hot as the previous 2 days...

And there was good sales too...

Therefore we could come back home so early...XP

Roger was too boring and started killing the flies that stayed on our booth by uhm...

You know...

A few "papers"...XP

And he killed some of them successfully!

This condition actually is not so good as there is a Chinese verse said:

"得空到在那边打苍蝇"

Which means people too free and start to kill flies...

Why flies?

Uhm...

I also do not know...

Maybe flies are very irritating?

Haha...

Anyway...
It finally ends...

Yay!

I have to keep myself in the house for few days to avoid my skin from expose to the sunlight...

So sad seeing my skin becomes darker and darker...

My skin is not so healthy by the way...

Pimples loves me...

And i have allergy skin leh!

Please please please...><

I want to have a healthy and fair skin...><

Intensive skin care starts from now...

Going to sleep now...

This is also part of intensive skin care...

And it is efffective!n.n

Goodnight!

Cry

I thank God for giving me friend's company when i totally collapsed...
I tell myself never cry in front of people...
Unless i cannot control my tears...
And that definitely will be a very tough period for me...


This reminds me of that night...
I really feel grateful for her existence...
Thanks for lending me your shoulder...
Thanks for let me feel a little warmness of family member during that cold and rainy night...
I appreciate it...
I appreciate the comfort you gave to me...
Although i should be the one giving you advices and comforts...><


I actually am a crying baby...
I will cry when i feel sad...
I will cry when i am suffered...
I will cry for unfairness...
I will cry when i am frustrated...
i will cry when i feel touched too...
But i just ask myself not to show my weaknesses in front of people...


This reminds me of the other night...
When i was alone and depressed...
Two people appeared on my msn conversation windows to give me encouragements...
One gave me a link of a Christian song...
And the lyrics touched my heart...
I thank God for your suggestions and encouragements through the song...n.n
The other one just gave me encouragements...
I was touched by her warm words...
And i cried uncontrollably...
Even though my roommate was with me in our room...><
But i just could not control my tears...


I thank for the people who appear during my difficult times...
And i believe that you guys are the Angels that sent by Gods...
No matter how far is the distance between us...
I still can feel the warmness through your words or a small action...
I hope that i can be that Angel of your lives too...
To stand by you when you guys need a listener...n.n
Cheers for our companionship...
It is so important for me...
Thank you...

Purity...

As i meet more people in my life...
Despite schools,part time jobs and also streets...
The hollowness and fear grow in me...
Stronger and stronger...
Who are trustworthy?
Who are the demons in my world?
I really have no idea...
All i know is: Family members are the only people that i can put my trust on...
Only them will trust me and share my grieves...


How to hold purity of our hearts in this darkened world?
I saw many people cheated...
I saw many people tell lies...
I saw selfishness in people...
I saw many other sins that i wish i do not make during my lifetime...
But the people treat this kind of sins as normal...
If you do not follow them...
You will be isolated and ignored...
I am not going to follow your stupid and silly cheating jobs!
Even though i am being hated...
How i behave recently make me disliked by many people...
I am strict to myself...
Avoiding myself from doing any wrong things that God hate...
Even though many people cannot understand me...


Should i follow what the people say and behave?
I am not living for the people's sake!
I am living for God and myself!
I just don't understand why people can be sinned and they do not aware of it...
I am confused...
Do not know which i did is the right and which one is wrong...
Is the world seriously darkened?
Are the people seriously addicted to the poisons of the world?


I want to hold the purity in my heart...
I always long for children's innocence...
I hate to be poisoned by the world...
I prefer my childhood life...

But time will not flashback...

 Above all else, guard your heart,

for it is the wellspring of life.

Proverbs 4:23

I always remind myself by this Bible verse...

How important is it to guard our heats...

I pray for a pure heart...

I pray that God has His wills in me...

Guard my heart...

And protect me from all kinds of badness...

      

My part-time promoter experience...

Recently i am working as a broadband promoter...

Last Wednesday i received a call from Joey and asked me whether i can join their promoter team...

I have nothing to do and i want to keep myself from thinking all the bad things and feelings...

I said yes and i went to Muar with them that night!

Sounds crazy,huh?

It was such a rush to make that decision...

Not more than 5 hours time between the time i decided to go and the time i left Kluang...

So on huh...

Haha...

We checked in to a hotel in Muar that night...

I could not believe that we actually have to sleep in such a good hotel room for 3 days!

I though we will be staying in a budget room or some other cheap cheap room...

But it was not!

I slept soundly after everyday's works!

No dream at all...

Haha...

During that 3 days...

We were promoting broadband and i saw many people's palms for umpteen times...

"Talk to my hand!"...

Haiz...

Sometimes feel so discourage but it is indeed what we will meet as a promoter...

Even me,i will also try to avoid talking with the promoters...XP

The last day in Muar,before our leaving...

We called it Android balloon...Haha...But it disappeared...><

Branch and leaves!Haha!

Joey with the balloon...

Me with the balloon...

This is the slurpee i bought today...In Kluang...

I actually enjoy talking with people...

Especially those who willing to talk and share their thoughts with us...

I also enjoy looking at the smiles on the children's faces when we distributed the balloons to them!

So sweet and innocent!

By giving them balloons is an action of putting smiles on their little faces...

How simple is this action!

And i enjoy doing it...

I love children...

But not the devil ones...

Haha...

There are 5 more days to go for me to work as a promoter...

Hope i will meet interesting people during the remainder 5 days...n.n 

还是要幸福...

一年了...
希望你过得都好...
有时想起还是会有点无奈...
可是就当作是点缀青春的一点色彩吧...


以后...
要幸福...
不要...
再被伤害了...
对你...
对我...

Tears...

Just came back from a yum cha session with church friends...

Feel nice to talk to them...

Can't really sleep now...

Feelings are stirring inside my heart...

Tears only worthy for those who really care...

I want to cry as loud as i can...

But my sensibility asked me to keep all the sadness inside me...

I am helpless...

I am in grieve...

I just tried to make myself to accept what i am facing now...

But seems like things went wrong...

Am i to blame?

Am i the one who did wrong?

God is stretching me like a balloon...

He keeps reminding me how i should do...

But the pain is unbearable...

I am undergoing a very critical period...

I can only seek God's wills during this period...

Because i really don't know who to believe...

I thought everything will be fine after i gave myself sometimes to calm down and try to think and act like a God's child...

But more disappointments came to me...

To pull me down...

To blame myself...

I am an emotional person...

I need time to calm myself down...

It is a hard time as i will keep thinking many things and self-blaming...

Blame myself for acting so harshly?

Blame myself for not resolving the problems in a rational way?

I really don't know should i torture myself in that way...

As i keep adding burdens to my shoulders...

I want to cry...

As loud as i can...

I really want to...

I keep my tears and sadness inside me for a long time...

It's the time to release everything...

But i just can't...

Disappointments...

How silly i am...

I always tell other people that i cannot give my trust to anyone easily since i was hurt by my loved one long time ago...

But i actually secretly give up my trust to some people...

I cherish the people i care and i love...

And that's why i am so care about everything...

I will not torture myself since one does not cherish my efforts...

I will leave and eliminate that particular person out of my world...

I don't mind i only have a few friends with me...

I used to it...

If i have no friend then i will try to survive by myself...

I AM STUBBORN...

I know...

But i thank God that He gives me a lot of Angels around me...

I actually receive friends' goodness and warmness when they are around...

Sometimes...

I rather i am blind or really deaf so that i will not see or listen the dark side of this world...

Many people are selfish...

Including me...

Many people are back-stabbers...

Many people did wrongs but they are not aware of...

I am scare of this kind of people...

Therefore i always keep a secure distance between me and people...

So that i will not get hurt...

Deep in heart...

A deep disappointment is swallowing me...

This is the price that i have to pay for...

For i trusted the particular one...

I told myself i have to treat people well...

Not to harm them...

Even i do not like the person i will also keep a secure distance with the person...

To avoid myself from hurting them...

I will only show the real me and the warm me in front of my love ones...

I really do not know who to give my trust to...

Realities are always hurting...

I thank God for giving me a chance to see who are those worthy of my trust...

I am trying to make things right...

But the darkness of this world is far more devil that i can handle...

Am so disappointed and heartache...

Will not shed a tear for the people who are not worth for my tears...

God is justice...

I already did my part and did my best...

I will leave the rest to God...

Only God knows our hearts...

Deep inside of our hearts...

I should not judge...

Because God is the judge...